Man Woman Relationship

There is a stark difference in the manner of communication between the sexes, often resulting in misunderstandings and tiffs. Its imperative that they understand each other's verbal and non-verbal languages so as to establish a better rapport between themselves.
For men, communication is a means of imparting and receiving information from someone. For women, it is far beyond factual exchange. It is an emotional as well as psychological expression of a personally .Relationship becomes complicated because of this difference. Women feel ignored when men don’t respond to their elaborate talk where as a man feels that he is not ignoring but just answering in monosyllables simply b'cos he has nothing more to say. The feeling of being ignored makes women feel lonelier. Women generally give vent to their piled up feeling thru tears, most often crying in solitude.
Understanding each others' way of talking, expressing things would certainly build up the relationship. Men think in terms of concrete content while women think in abstract terms. While talking men concentrate more on content while women care more for emotions and feelings. That’s the basic difference that makes men often say "Its difficult to understand women". But the truth is that they never make an attempt to understand women.
Women take pleasure in talking b'cos for them it is an expression of their personality , an emotional release as well as an art. Men often seek straight forward solution to problems and useful advice, where as women tend to try and establish intimacy by discussing problems and showing concern and empathy in order to reinforce relationship.
When woman recount some problems to her intimate one, he generally tries to solve the problem and gives advice. Women are often offended by this approach. Men don’t understand that the women are not seeking solution but are seeking sympathy and love. A few encouraging words of love and concern is all she needs.
Communication is a two-way process. Talking is one half of it. Listening is other half. Interaction between two people is complete only when they understand, acknowledge and react to each other. We talk to express ourselves. A successful interaction is one in which the speaker and the listener both understand each other. If the listener does not understand what the speaker is trying to convey, then the purpose of talking is defeated.
This is a common thing that happens in almost all conversation between a man and a woman. Woman tries to express with all her feelings expecting something in return only to know in the end that her expectations have been destroyed.
In fact, the "war of sexes" often results because of these differences in interpreting the same message. The difference is mostly in interpreting "between the lines" meaning. Women generally read more in between the lines landing up in what was never meant by men. Women, to a greater extent than men are sensitive to the interpersonal meaning that lie "between the lines" in the messages they exchange with their mates.
In most cases, women tend to be the relationship specialist and men tend to be task specialist. Women are typically the experts in "rapport talk" which refers to the types of communication that build, maintain and strengthen relationships. Rapport talks reflect skills of talking, nurturing, emotional expression, empathy and support. Men are typically experts in ask accomplishment and addressing questions about facts.
Anytime you feel disappointed, surprised or angry with your counterpart ask yourself if he/she has "misheard" you . Is the other responding to your problems with a solution when you craved for sympathy? Is the other responding to your message of affection with the message of love equally?
Love can conquer all difficulties. For loving mates, it becomes easy to make right interpretations. The only way to understand a woman is to love her and then it isn’t necessary to understand her. The only way to understand a man is to be happy with the single line responses and then it inst necessary to understand him.

Friendship

Ancient Greek philosophers truly revered the concept of friendship, and spent much of their time defining, shaping, and discovering the answer to a phenomenal question: What exactly are the components of true friendship? In essence, friendship is based on a companionship involving mutual love, self-love, virtue, and hard work. Nature has no love for solitude, and always leans, as it were, on so support; and the sweetest support is found in the most intimate friendship.
Can you imagine what life would be like without them? Who would you hang out with in the cafeteria during lunch? Who would you tell about the new love in your history class who’s both cute and smart? Who would you have those marathon phone conversations with, you know, the ones that drive your parents crazy? As one grows older, their view on friendship changes and the group of friends they had becomes smaller. Youngsters seek integration in the peer group, they are inclined to distance themselves from social control, parents and other authorities. As a young child, friendship does not really exist, the friends that a child really has is more like an encounter. Playing with another child one day and then going home, that was that until the two kids happen to meet again, which is generally in preschool. When a child is playing with another child it is as if everything revolves around each child’s needs. As the youngster proceeds into the elementary grades they begin to understand that friendship is more than just a playmate. They start to see their friend’s point of view, share secrets, plans and feelings and help seek solutions.
A Definition of a Friendship is not simply a "relationship", knowing someone, conversing with that person, or dealing with that person in business, school, or in casual acquaintance. True friendship is not just a "relationship", but self-sacrificing love. A friend is also one who supports, sympathizes, and is a person in whom you can confide. There are unique qualities that a person must have to be considered a friend. An acquaintance is not automatically considered a friend. Just because you know someone does not mean there is an instant friendship. This does not mean that an acquaintance cannot change into a valued friendship. There are qualities that a friend must have, but time is also a factor. A friendship can develop in as short as a day, or it could take as long as a few years for full development. In the end, if time is taken for full development, then a real friendship will develop. The main way that trust is built up is with time.
People today, in all this new world technology and thinking have lost sight of what a true friendship is. No way do friends have to be exactly the same, they do have their differences. The key to opening up the world of friendship is not just to focus on the similarities but to accept each others faults because true friends do not judge each other. Friends love unconditionally. They do have their little angry moments from time to time but at the end of the day all is forgiven and forgotten. Why let something that happened in the past ruin what great friendship you could have together in the future?
Friendship in itself means sacrifice without the knowledge of the person for whom one sacrifices. Ever since mankind evolved, friendship too came into existence and this relationship will never vanish from the life of mankind.

Trivikram Prasad - Man of words & actions

It was joyous moment for me when I was called by Harsha to convey the news that I have been offered a job at Intel. It was a dream come true. This happiness did not last long when he told me that im going to working for the Planning team. I was then an intern with the Knowledge Management team. I loved this team so much that I felt more sad when I knew that I not was going to be a part of that team. The HR informed me that the manager of the Planning team, Mr.Trivikram Prasad wanted to hand over the offer to me personally. My first meeting with Trivikram Prasad did not create a very great impression abt him in me. Little did I know at that time this person will impact my career and life in numerous ways. June 14, 2004, I stepped into Intel as a proud employee. The Planning team then had 11 people including me. I was allotted to a project along with one more of my senior team mate for which the clients were in US. For about 6 months or so, I was trying to learn the project as much as I can so that in due course of time I ll be able to handle it independently cos my partner was supposed to move out of the project once im able to handle everything myself. Lot of motivation and support from Triv made me learn everything at a quick pace. It was then time for me to manage the project independently. To give a brief outline of the project and its ppl, the team consisted of couple of project managers, customers from the US and a sole developer, myself, from India. It was a support and maintenance kind of project where in there are bug fixes and enhancements that are needed to be done on a continuous basis. This project catered to the needs for a R&D site, and so the enhancements demanded were more than expected. Working in this project for abt 1.5 yrs was a nightmare for me. My works normally starts every day at abt 8pm and goes till 2 or 3 in the morning. Since I was the sole being in India and rest of the team worked from US, I was always the scape goat to work during odd hours. Its not easy for anyone to work during those time everyday. But then it was possible for me and that’s b cos of the motivation that I got from Triv. He was a person who could encourage people with his pleasant words. He considers his team to be his family and makes sure that the family runs smooth. Quoting his words “You know what..if there's an attack on me, i dont really give a damn..but I consider this team to be my family and when we get unduly hit, it riles me. i can get really nasty”. The first time I escalated the concerns I had in working with the project team, he made sure he escalated it to the people concerned to work out on a solution for that. This line of his hit me badly and I realized that I have to put in my best efforts not to earn recognitions from people over the team but to make Triv feel that I did my best. Since then what mattered to me most was how my work made an impact on Triv in a positive manner. There are times when I have told him that he is the best manager I have ever worked and he says very meekly “Im doing my job”. His humility and interpersonal style is a genuine pleasure to work for him.
There were few of his words/lines which had a great influence on me and made me do my best. Its just not about work. If those words are taken to heart, im sure it ll help anyone to deal with anything in life. Quoting few of them here, “ give them hell,you have my full support”;” we got to break up each problem for americans..and give it one at a time..wait for them to understand and then move on”;” you will be the stronger for this experience..believe me i have dealt with worse people in Intel, each experience helps you come out wiser and stronger. Always try not to let it affect your personal life or emotion..after all its just work. End of the day..your life is more important..this is just a job. its not easy to separate out.. i got the hang of it after many years. take it easy..dont let it get to you. put both your hands on your shoulders, stretch your hands up and breathe out saying 'Let go' “ . “Great job on the reporting out of the issue today. Everyone (who matters) was impressed . That's all it is...a little goes a long way. Remember its not how much time you put in, but what you deliver that matters. Now you know how to present info in a way they can understand so it'll make working with them much easier” Who would not be motivated with such words ? I became an ardent admirer of Triv as days passed by. There are so many things to learn from him, not only as a manager at work but also as a person. At work, he is so flexible to adjust or extend his work timings and he is always available when ever I needed his expert assistance. When ever I needed his help to speak to the higher managers he always guided me on how to express the concerns to them in a way that would lead to right solutions. The way he explains to me “Let him know the limitations in an objective manner rather than make it look like you are complaining” . This way he made me learn how to speak to people constructively. One best thing that I have noticed about him is that he doesn’t maintain “Im ur manager, u r my employee” kind of relationship. He treats everyone equally. He is such a fun loving person. His sense of humor coupled with his presence of mind can take u off to a world of happiness forgetting all ur worries and miseries. Team quarterlies, team dinners, Friday lunches, movies were joyous moments with Triv. But this happiness did not last long. It was a shock and surprise for every one of us in our team when we heard from Triv that he is planning to quit intel. Although I knew that it is for his good, feeling of missing such a nice manager made me feel very upset. I consider myself to be very unfortunate to have not been able to work for him for a long time. But I still deem it a great privilege to have worked with him for nearly 3 years. Every day, every minute spent with Triv is something I ll always treasure throughout my lifetime. It was a great lerning experience. Professionally and personally I could see his words and actions influenced me a lot. Its said that, there ll be many people who ll influence ur life in more than one way. Yes, Triv is one such person who has made a difference in my life in a very positive way. Im very grateful to him for all his motivation and support. If not for him, im sure I would nt be here in Intel sitting peacefully and writing few lines about him :) :)

Life history again .. :)

EDUCATION & CAREER -- A significant portion of my schooling was in BHEL Township at Ranipet, the one that brings me nostalgic memories. I completed my high schooling in one of the best schools in TamilNadu, DAV. I bachelored in Mathematics in 2001. And completed my Masters in the most privileged institution which every student, if not all atleast most of the student would aspire to study. Its none other than the PSG College of Technology at Coimbatore. I had the privilege of being one among the toppers of the class. I have survived 3 years working as a software engineer in a top Multi national company. Very soon I realized my buried fascination for coding, testing, design and documentation. As destiny would have it, Im continuing to do my best in my work.
FAMILY – Eldest daughter of a small but a very loving family. A righteous Father who's my hero and role model. He's known for his humility and supreme assessment skills. An incredibly sweet & gorgeous Mom who is just fun to be with. She's the lord & master of our household. A very talented artistic sister whose presence enlivens the home. Gold Medalist in her undergrad. The rest of our extended family are scattered in parts of TamilNadu, mostly in Chennai with few of them in parts of Karnataka too.
ME -- I'm extremely vivacious, pleasant and reflective. I consider my formative years in DAV a treasure. And life in PSG a boon. I'm an enthusiastic conversationalist and strongly believe that communication is key to any relationship. I'm quite inquisitive about everything in life and have a queer eye for a wide range of things; some you might find mundane, some exhilarating! Im a blend of conventional and modern values. I believe in following certain principles in life. Come what may, any deviation from the principles is unacceptable. I believe in doing things with perfection. If u cannot then better don’t commit for it. Meticulous planning, time consciousness, cleanliness, orderliness are few things that I consider important to live a decent life. With all these, Im still a fun loving person. A good companion. I always look forward to sweet surprises in life. Im not too sensitive as most of the woman are. More of a happy-go-lucky kind.

I love to call myself an amateur traveler. I've traveled most parts of India, from Kanyakumari to Delhi, Bombay, except eastern parts of India. I have also visited the best place in the United States of America, Disneyland, Las Vegas, Chicago and have felt the Singapore soil.
I have a fantastic set of very close friends who are my pillars of strength. They are extremely successful, perfectionists, and are famous for their pearls of wisdom. Blessed I’m, I could nt ask for better friends than this lot. We're basically a strong blend of hard work, loyalty, and a lot fun.
Coming to Cuisine (everyone's favorite): I'm a strong food lover. Very finicky abt the taste and can never sacrifice anything for a tasty food. I can eat everything that I cook :) from the unparalleled Idly- Sambhar to some scrumptious complete Tamilian meal. And NO, I don't weigh 200 plus pounds. I'm not athletic either. I pretty much keep a watch on what I eat and make sure I maintain my weight Im supposed to be.

There are three things that fascinate me: Computers, Music, and Cooking. I have always been amazed by the technological advances and computers have always made me crazy right from the day I learnt about them. Leave me alone in a room with a computer and ofcourse an internet connection and don’t be surprised if I get confined to the room for days together. Apart from computers, Im an ardent fan of Music and music gurus. Some of the musicians who ve been a rock solid influence are MS Subbalakshmi, Sudha Raghunathan, Bombay Jeyashree, KJ Yesudoss, Nithyasree Mahadevan. One other thing I'm passionate about is cooking. I've realized over time that cooking bestows a diverse sense of satisfaction and can be a single man's best friend!! Only thing that is difficult abt cooking is deciding on what to cook. I always prefer to do a job right from the start till the end. Same holds for cooking too. Im not too keen on anyone helping me in cutting, cleaning and all such stuff.
Long story short, I lead a contented life and I always look forward to everyday of my life with enthusiasm. I have never repented for what Im and what I have. I deem it a privilege to be born as I and to live a life of this kind.
My sincere thanks to every single person who has been a part of my life and who has made a difference in my life.

Gone are those days …

In today’s fast moving technological world, education is considered to have the prime importance in the life of a human being. Albert Einstein once said-‘I was born Intelligent, But education ruined me’. This might not be true to everyone. Atleast not me. The journey from my kindergarten to post graduation was something that I always cherish in one way or the other. So many lives touched my life in due course of this journey. Some taught me lessons on how I should be and some on how not to be.

I have always been proud to have been a part of the DAV family. That’s the feeling the institution has instilled in every student of DAV. Sprawling across a wide terrain in BHEL Township, DAV BHEL School stands majestically with the delight of a mother who has just made her child the best in the world. Days at DAV were deemed with such exuberance that thoughts of them have never once failed to invoke deepest of nostalgias in me. I still remember the day when my class teacher came running happily to my mom and Anandhi’s mom telling “Finally I separated Padmalaya and Anandhi and stopped their non stop talking”. Anandhi is my best friend from Class I. We studied together, we played together, we fought together, we had fun together, we got caught together. If at all there is anything happening related to me, she ll always be there and vice versa. The only time we remained separated was from 9pm to 8am.

My first step outside the BHEL Township was for my undergrad at Auxilium College, Vellore. It was a very uneventful journey and I dint feel so great abt the 3 years I spent there. The only achievement in those 3 years was the certification from my head of the department to our gang of friends (the so called super ten – that’s how we call ourselves) as being the naughtiest set of girls she has ever met in her 25 yrs of experience as head of the department. Well, all ten of us were proud abt this. The three years passed with not much of enthusiasm. It was time to think abt my post graduation and this time I dint want to get into “yet another college”. I put in my best efforts to prepare for my MCA entrance examinations to get into one of the best college of the state. Fortunately, after a long wait I came to know that I was selected for admission into PSG College of technology, Coimbatore.

When I first stepped in to the portals of PSG Tech on July 31, 2001 I was filled with a sense of pride to have got admitted into one the best colleges in TamilNadu. It was my dream come true. All formalities done at the administrative office. I, along with my parents went into the hostel campus to complete the formalities there. Although I had longed to stay in a hostel and do my post graduation, I was little skeptical when I started realizing that im going to be away from my home for the next three years. All set and done, I stood at the hostel gate waving at my parents as they disappeared into the crowd. It was late in the evening by then and I dint have time to do anything else other than going to bed early in order to get early to my classes the next day. I was in a room consisting of 9 girls who were also admitted to my class. Girls from different background, different place, different language. It wasn’t fun at that moment as I had thought it would be.

It was the morning of my first day at PSG Tech. Along with few of the girls from my room I entered to the class that was supposed to be for I MCA. It was a peaceful day with some orientation classes and introductory classes. By the end of the day I got along well with two of the girls, Srividya and Keerthy. Srividya was from Jamshedpur. She had done her UG at MOP Vaishnav, Chennai and Keerthy was from Ethiraj college, Chennai. We reached the hostel mess and had a coffee chat for a while and then got back to our rooms. All the girls from our class met at the dinner table and had a good introduction and got along well. All of us were interestingly chatting in our room after dinner when there was a knock on the door. The girl outside was not familiar to any of us. She just informed us that our seniors want to meet us in room no 109 at 10pm. Terror stuck all of us. Was it some kind of ragging ? With guts gathered, all ten of us walked towards their room. Surprisingly we had a very warm welcome. We were all happy about our seniors being very nice and sweet. But then the happiness dint last long. They started teasing us, making fun of us, asking us to do all sorts of funny things from christening them to putting up an orchestra. We were all on the verge of crying but then somehow managed not to and after about an hour or so returned to the rooms. Days passed by with all such sessions. Seniors remained terror to us for quite sometime. During the course on intro sessions and getting to know each other Srividya, Keerthy and Myself became quite close and we formed a gang with few of the guys in the class, Rajeev, Sriram, Satheesh, Amar and Arun. As days passed by we started realizing hostel life was fun. Every minute was filled with enjoyment. Starting from bunking classes in the name of login, making trips to other colleges for inter collegiate, birthday treats, visits to Sriram’s home, hostel day, login, login trip, delhi trip, friendship day, marudhamalai visits, class movies to internals, semester exams, placement preparations, we enjoyed every bit of these. We used to be in high spirits in hostel especially during the internals and semester exams.
With hard feelings I stepped out of PSG tech to start my career in the IT industry with INTEL. It makes feel very much privileged to be a part of Intel. I have had varied kind of experiences in the past 3.5 years. I have worked with 3 different teams, 50 odd people, learnt many new technologies. I have always enjoyed the workplace and the people and im sure there is no match for Intel wrt the workplace.

Now its time for me to step into a new phase of life. Its always good to have changes in life. Im looking forward to that.

My first Post

There is something that motivated me to create a blog of my own and post articles to it. I read few of my friends’ blogs and was inspired to write on my own too. It has been long since I tested my writing skills and found this the best way to test.
After thinking for about an hour or so I finally decided on the name of my blog and the link. Heaven save me, I dint realize all this while that my vocabulary is way to behind. Im myself not sure what made me decide in “peacekeepersmissile”. For sure im not a role model of a peacekeeper. Oxymoron in English is one thing I have a great fascination for. And probably that’s why I landed up naming the blog this way. What ever be it, I liked the name and so be it. May be at some point of time I ll try to justify the name.
Certain things/people have made great differences in my life. My primary aim of creating this blog is for those. Thru this blog I would like to convey to those who have made my life great or bitter, directly or indirectly in one way or the other which Im sure is going to make a difference in their lives as well.
Working as a software professional for the past couple of years or more, I feel I have been doing only coding, coding and coding. Posting my articles on this blog would help me take time off from work and have me do something other than SQL server, Oracle, .NET.
Looking forward to post more articles on a considerably good frequency. Good luck to all the readers as well !