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There is a stark difference in the manner of communication between the sexes, often resulting in misunderstandings and tiffs. Its imperative that they understand each other's verbal and non-verbal languages so as to establish a better rapport between themselves.
For men, communication is a means of imparting and receiving information from someone. For women, it is far beyond factual exchange. It is an emotional as well as psychological expression of a personally .Relationship becomes complicated because of this difference. Women feel ignored when men don’t respond to their elaborate talk where as a man feels that he is not ignoring but just answering in monosyllables simply b'cos he has nothing more to say. The feeling of being ignored makes women feel lonelier. Women generally give vent to their piled up feeling thru tears, most often crying in solitude.
Understanding each others' way of talking, expressing things would certainly build up the relationship. Men think in terms of concrete content while women think in abstract terms. While talking men concentrate more on content while women care more for emotions and feelings. That’s the basic difference that makes men often say "Its difficult to understand women". But the truth is that they never make an attempt to understand women.
Women take pleasure in talking b'cos for them it is an expression of their personality , an emotional release as well as an art. Men often seek straight forward solution to problems and useful advice, where as women tend to try and establish intimacy by discussing problems and showing concern and empathy in order to reinforce relationship.
When woman recount some problems to her intimate one, he generally tries to solve the problem and gives advice. Women are often offended by this approach. Men don’t understand that the women are not seeking solution but are seeking sympathy and love. A few encouraging words of love and concern is all she needs.
Communication is a two-way process. Talking is one half of it. Listening is other half. Interaction between two people is complete only when they understand, acknowledge and react to each other. We talk to express ourselves. A successful interaction is one in which the speaker and the listener both understand each other. If the listener does not understand what the speaker is trying to convey, then the purpose of talking is defeated.
This is a common thing that happens in almost all conversation between a man and a woman. Woman tries to express with all her feelings expecting something in return only to know in the end that her expectations have been destroyed.
In fact, the "war of sexes" often results because of these differences in interpreting the same message. The difference is mostly in interpreting "between the lines" meaning. Women generally read more in between the lines landing up in what was never meant by men. Women, to a greater extent than men are sensitive to the interpersonal meaning that lie "between the lines" in the messages they exchange with their mates.
In most cases, women tend to be the relationship specialist and men tend to be task specialist. Women are typically the experts in "rapport talk" which refers to the types of communication that build, maintain and strengthen relationships. Rapport talks reflect skills of talking, nurturing, emotional expression, empathy and support. Men are typically experts in ask accomplishment and addressing questions about facts.
Anytime you feel disappointed, surprised or angry with your counterpart ask yourself if he/she has "misheard" you . Is the other responding to your problems with a solution when you craved for sympathy? Is the other responding to your message of affection with the message of love equally?
Love can conquer all difficulties. For loving mates, it becomes easy to make right interpretations. The only way to understand a woman is to love her and then it isn’t necessary to understand her. The only way to understand a man is to be happy with the single line responses and then it inst necessary to understand him.
Ancient Greek philosophers truly revered the concept of friendship, and spent much of their time defining, shaping, and discovering the answer to a phenomenal question: What exactly are the components of true friendship? In essence, friendship is based on a companionship involving mutual love, self-love, virtue, and hard work. Nature has no love for solitude, and always leans, as it were, on so support; and the sweetest support is found in the most intimate friendship.
Can you imagine what life would be like without them? Who would you hang out with in the cafeteria during lunch? Who would you tell about the new love in your history class who’s both cute and smart? Who would you have those marathon phone conversations with, you know, the ones that drive your parents crazy? As one grows older, their view on friendship changes and the group of friends they had becomes smaller. Youngsters seek integration in the peer group, they are inclined to distance themselves from social control, parents and other authorities. As a young child, friendship does not really exist, the friends that a child really has is more like an encounter. Playing with another child one day and then going home, that was that until the two kids happen to meet again, which is generally in preschool. When a child is playing with another child it is as if everything revolves around each child’s needs. As the youngster proceeds into the elementary grades they begin to understand that friendship is more than just a playmate. They start to see their friend’s point of view, share secrets, plans and feelings and help seek solutions.
A Definition of a Friendship is not simply a "relationship", knowing someone, conversing with that person, or dealing with that person in business, school, or in casual acquaintance. True friendship is not just a "relationship", but self-sacrificing love. A friend is also one who supports, sympathizes, and is a person in whom you can confide. There are unique qualities that a person must have to be considered a friend. An acquaintance is not automatically considered a friend. Just because you know someone does not mean there is an instant friendship. This does not mean that an acquaintance cannot change into a valued friendship. There are qualities that a friend must have, but time is also a factor. A friendship can develop in as short as a day, or it could take as long as a few years for full development. In the end, if time is taken for full development, then a real friendship will develop. The main way that trust is built up is with time.
People today, in all this new world technology and thinking have lost sight of what a true friendship is. No way do friends have to be exactly the same, they do have their differences. The key to opening up the world of friendship is not just to focus on the similarities but to accept each others faults because true friends do not judge each other. Friends love unconditionally. They do have their little angry moments from time to time but at the end of the day all is forgiven and forgotten. Why let something that happened in the past ruin what great friendship you could have together in the future?
Friendship in itself means sacrifice without the knowledge of the person for whom one sacrifices. Ever since mankind evolved, friendship too came into existence and this relationship will never vanish from the life of mankind.
It was joyous moment for me when I was called by Harsha to convey the news that I have been offered a job at Intel. It was a dream come true. This happiness did not last long when he told me that im going to working for the Planning team. I was then an intern with the Knowledge Management team. I loved this team so much that I felt more sad when I knew that I not was going to be a part of that team. The HR informed me that the manager of the Planning team, Mr.Trivikram Prasad wanted to hand over the offer to me personally. My first meeting with Trivikram Prasad did not create a very great impression abt him in me. Little did I know at that time this person will impact my career and life in numerous ways. June 14, 2004, I stepped into Intel as a proud employee. The Planning team then had 11 people including me. I was allotted to a project along with one more of my senior team mate for which the clients were in US. For about 6 months or so, I was trying to learn the project as much as I can so that in due course of time I ll be able to handle it independently cos my partner was supposed to move out of the project once im able to handle everything myself. Lot of motivation and support from Triv made me learn everything at a quick pace. It was then time for me to manage the project independently. To give a brief outline of the project and its ppl, the team consisted of couple of project managers, customers from the US and a sole developer, myself, from India. It was a support and maintenance kind of project where in there are bug fixes and enhancements that are needed to be done on a continuous basis. This project catered to the needs for a R&D site, and so the enhancements demanded were more than expected. Working in this project for abt 1.5 yrs was a nightmare for me. My works normally starts every day at abt 8pm and goes till 2 or 3 in the morning. Since I was the sole being in India and rest of the team worked from US, I was always the scape goat to work during odd hours. Its not easy for anyone to work during those time everyday. But then it was possible for me and that’s b cos of the motivation that I got from Triv. He was a person who could encourage people with his pleasant words. He considers his team to be his family and makes sure that the family runs smooth. Quoting his words “You know what..if there's an attack on me, i dont really give a damn..but I consider this team to be my family and when we get unduly hit, it riles me. i can get really nasty”. The first time I escalated the concerns I had in working with the project team, he made sure he escalated it to the people concerned to work out on a solution for that. This line of his hit me badly and I realized that I have to put in my best efforts not to earn recognitions from people over the team but to make Triv feel that I did my best. Since then what mattered to me most was how my work made an impact on Triv in a positive manner. There are times when I have told him that he is the best manager I have ever worked and he says very meekly “Im doing my job”. His humility and interpersonal style is a genuine pleasure to work for him.
There were few of his words/lines which had a great influence on me and made me do my best. Its just not about work. If those words are taken to heart, im sure it ll help anyone to deal with anything in life. Quoting few of them here, “ give them hell,you have my full support”;” we got to break up each problem for americans..and give it one at a time..wait for them to understand and then move on”;” you will be the stronger for this experience..believe me i have dealt with worse people in Intel, each experience helps you come out wiser and stronger. Always try not to let it affect your personal life or emotion..after all its just work. End of the day..your life is more important..this is just a job. its not easy to separate out.. i got the hang of it after many years. take it easy..dont let it get to you. put both your hands on your shoulders, stretch your hands up and breathe out saying 'Let go' “ . “Great job on the reporting out of the issue today. Everyone (who matters) was impressed . That's all it is...a little goes a long way. Remember its not how much time you put in, but what you deliver that matters. Now you know how to present info in a way they can understand so it'll make working with them much easier” Who would not be motivated with such words ? I became an ardent admirer of Triv as days passed by. There are so many things to learn from him, not only as a manager at work but also as a person. At work, he is so flexible to adjust or extend his work timings and he is always available when ever I needed his expert assistance. When ever I needed his help to speak to the higher managers he always guided me on how to express the concerns to them in a way that would lead to right solutions. The way he explains to me “Let him know the limitations in an objective manner rather than make it look like you are complaining” . This way he made me learn how to speak to people constructively. One best thing that I have noticed about him is that he doesn’t maintain “Im ur manager, u r my employee” kind of relationship. He treats everyone equally. He is such a fun loving person. His sense of humor coupled with his presence of mind can take u off to a world of happiness forgetting all ur worries and miseries. Team quarterlies, team dinners, Friday lunches, movies were joyous moments with Triv. But this happiness did not last long. It was a shock and surprise for every one of us in our team when we heard from Triv that he is planning to quit intel. Although I knew that it is for his good, feeling of missing such a nice manager made me feel very upset. I consider myself to be very unfortunate to have not been able to work for him for a long time. But I still deem it a great privilege to have worked with him for nearly 3 years. Every day, every minute spent with Triv is something I ll always treasure throughout my lifetime. It was a great lerning experience. Professionally and personally I could see his words and actions influenced me a lot. Its said that, there ll be many people who ll influence ur life in more than one way. Yes, Triv is one such person who has made a difference in my life in a very positive way. Im very grateful to him for all his motivation and support. If not for him, im sure I would nt be here in Intel sitting peacefully and writing few lines about him :) :)
